The Jude Thaddeus Program - Chapter 4

The Fifth Law

To give is to receive.

The truth is you never find happiness by demanding it, taking it or manipulating others to give it to you. You take positive control of your life when you stop basing your happiness on what other people can give to you (or give back to you) and start building your happiness on what you can give to them.

When discussing any topic that looks even remotely like helping someone else, or being kind and unselfish, those who have had exposure to 12 step programs such as AA or NA point to this and say, that’s just like the 12th step.

Unfortunately, the moment you begin to mention topics like the Fifth Law some guests begin to mix their failed ideas of 12 step “service work” with what they are learning in the JTP. These two philosophies have vast differences, and the notion of “service work” in 12 step programs is very specifically oriented to recruitment of new members into the 12 step organization which 95% of the time is detrimental to those being recruited. This hardly constitutes helping someone; and furthermore the 12 step philosophy actually teaches its members that “working the steps” including the 12th step keeps them sober, and that they need not worry about whether or not they have helped anyone as long as they, themselves, are staying sober.

This approach of service to others with alcohol and drug problems is common 12 step rhetoric, and is, in actual practice completely counterproductive.
Once the topic of AA efficacy is broached, some guests naturally ask if we have any alumni programs or web chat areas for alumni, or support programs of any sort for when they return home. The answer is no.

Support programs make the assumption that when you return home you need to be supported by those like yourself in some way to be successful. This mindset assumes that you are in danger, but what you have learned at the JTP is that all the answers lie within you. It is important to remember that you have the ultimate power of choice in everything you will encounter and do in your lifetime. You have the ability to live your dreams. You are no different than the population at large and believe it or not you will build a network of relatives and friends who have similar goals and lifestyle as you. While it may seem to you now as if “everyone is doing drugs or drinking” as you begin to make more productive choices in life and leave that lifestyle behind, you will meet more and more people who are not living the substance abuse lifestyle at all. The truth is most people do not live like you have been living; most people lead happy and productive lives free of substance abuse problems.

Preview Chapter 5 - To Fear or Not to Fear